Brendan Gates

Hi there, I'm Brendan.

I make phones ring for a living. In my spare time you can find me swimming, learning to pick locks, taking pictures, getting up early to watch my favorite soccer club, or looking for a new hobby to briefly hold my interest. My wife and I live in one of Mound City's finest neighborhoods with our pug.

Find me on twitter, or on mastodon, for some reason. If you are interested in stalking me or offering me money to do things, you might find my resume useful. You can even install a font that looks like my handwriting. My public key is here if you have secrets to share.

Everything I do or say on any of my web properties or social accounts represents only me. Not my employer. Definitely not my wife. Maybe my dog, if treats are involved.

The picture is from my passport photo, and you are encouraged to not smile in those photos. You are allowed to straighten your glasses, though.